We are all hypocrites. Show me someone who practices what they preach to a “T”, and I’ll show you a hippogryph playing chess with a unicorn. There’s no avoiding hypocrisy; the chasm between what we say and what we do is an elemental part of the human condition. It is rooted in our split-mind: the bifurcation of reality between conscious and unconscious activity.
Jung and other depth psychologists have called the split of consciousness from unconsciousness the culprit of all human troubles, the “fall” in mythological terms. Everything from our impulse purchases to cheating on our diets exemplify our inability to shake-off the unconscious emotional urges that lay below the limen of awareness. Think about how many times we did something we know we shouldn’t have done or simply said yes when we really meant no? The answer is more often than we’d like to admit.
I recognize that there are many situations where we feel coerced to act a certain way, or at least the circumstances makes choosing another alternative impossible. However, even if we had the freedom to choose otherwise, would we? I’m not so sure and if you keep reading, you might agree. Also please note I’m using “we” since I am in no way above such insincere behavior. Moreover, I am convinced that most of us want to change in all the right ways. We want to be good people. We don’t want to be a slave to our primitive drives. We want to be transformed; and as a result, all this hypocrisy makes us uncomfortable.
Author Joesph Chilton Pierce describes the situation as an “underlying desperation in us, unstated and inchoate, that is nothing less than a split mind’s realization of its split world.” We long for a way out, yet we typically remedy this situation by lying to ourselves, feigning authenticity, and repenting when our behavior seems out of line. Sure this might assuage some negative self-talk and ameliorate cognitive dissonance, but does it really accomplish anything? No, the heart of the situation remains unchanged.
Let me use myself as an example. I have proselytized the need to live by one’s principles, be more real, more genuine. I’ve even touted myself as a free-spirit, open to experience, willing to go beyond a personal ego-centered worldview and embrace a globally-minded compassion. While my friends and family probably take my words to heart, little do they know that despite my self-assured talk, the very next moment I go and cower in my insular routine perpetuating all the things I say I’m not. We often make highfalutin claims about the things which we find ourselves most unable to change. Meanwhile our hypocrisy stares at us like a white elephant in the room.
I feel we make excuses that life is too busy, too complicated, and too problematic to do the inner work necessary to bring about change. We assume that if all the external obstacles to self-actualization are removed, we would soar into our fullest potential. Moreover, we take the misguided attitude that such hypocritical behavior is inescapable in today’s society.
A few weeks ago at my University’s conference on forging an ecological mindset through literature, the lunch break consisted of red meat on Styrofoam plates. I thought to myself “this is all wrong”, but what could I do? I could just not eat. Problem solved. But of course I gobbled away since ignoring a table full of free food would break with every survival instinct I have. I justified my behavior by saying that the next time I would act perfectly in accordance with what I know and believe to be right. Though I might say this with an air of certainty, deep down my heart is unconvinced—this is the realization of the split-mind: hypocrisy manifest.
I’m sure every one of us has had a similar experience. Whether it be a small thing like throwing a piece of litter into the street or a large thing like learning to act less selfishly, we all have personal issues we wish to improve. So I ask, what is holding us back from making the changes we want to make, from wholeheartedly adopting the worldview we wish to uphold?
What is holding us back? The answer to the question is plain and simple: it is not “them” or society, but ourselves, our ego, our unwillingness to let go of what is familiar, comfortable, and easy. This is the stark truth most of us are unable to accept.
We wish to shift to locus of control to an external power, but in reality we are the only ones to fault. For when it comes to achieving our higher self-evolution, most of us don’t want to change. Sure, we want things to change: we want to feel better, be happier, and have an easier life. But we do not want to have to change our deep habits of being, our habits of relating to others or identifying with the thoughts and feelings that run through us. Very few of us want to let go of the familiar ways of being and behaving that we’re accustomed to. Why? Simply put, because we do not want to get out of our comfort zone.
We all want to do what is best for the environment, for humanity, for the planet; but will you exchange your car for a bicycle? No. Will you give up your favorite food because farming it creates ecological havoc, emits greenhouse gasses, and causes needless animal suffering? No. Will we only change if the pain of not changing becomes worse that the pain of change itself? Yes.
I use the ecological example not because I’m a tree-hugging eco-nut, but simply because it clearly demonstrates how our desire to change typically cedes authority to a greater desire for maintaining comfort. Bringing about true fundamental change in our behavior, our worldview, is an extremely difficult process requiring extraordinary effort. Some people, I dare say, are even incapable of such change, having not the interiority or knowledge necessary to begin reformulating their behaviors and beliefs about reality. Others who have the genuine desire to change still may never achieve the transformation they desire because there is a host of other factors keeping our behavior and worldview static.
Change is uncomfortable, awkward, and perhaps even painful; but I believe it is absolutely necessary if we want to progress and thrive. As Einstein famously said, “the significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” We need a new way of thinking and a thorough understanding of the human antipathy towards change. In the coming posts I hope to expound in greater detail the dynamics which inhibit deep-seated change and theorize a new path for evolving past our “split-mind” archaic way of life.
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